LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

He Said/She Said: Solving Relationship Issues

Our editors give the male/female perspective on common love and relationship problems

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Tame Jealousies

My husband seems frustrated that my career is more successful than his, although he denies it. What should I say?
—Submitted by Anna S., Pasadena, CA

He said: If my wife tried to talk to me about this, it wouldn't matter what she said. I'd hear this: "I know you try, dear, but please don't worry about my superstardom and your mediocrity." Even if your husband won't admit it, he probably is bothered because your success magnifies his lack of it--and because testosterone makes him more competitive than a hooked marlin. Your best play: Don't give career advice (too condescending) and don't tell him you understand how he feels (too pitying). Just drop it. Give the impression it's no big deal and eventually he'll get that it isn't.

She said: Don't console him about his lackluster career or compare it with your own. But don't you dare downplay your excitement about new projects or promotions. Pop the champagne, thank him for his support, and ask him to celebrate with you. Be sure to let him know you're proud of him for countless other reasons. Brag to friends about the incredible job he did renovating the kitchen or what an amazing Little League coach he is. Even better: Tell him he's the best lover you could ever hope for. The one thing more closely linked to a man's ego than his paycheck is his penis.